Happy Holidays....

am on a looooooong break... from updating my blog that is... will post the next chapter as and when i find time to write one... as for now... heres where my life stalls...

Wishing every single one of you a happy and a prosperous new year... may all of your dreams and aspirations be realised in the year ahead....

Will keep posting snippets... do check back regularly...

Chapter 23: Infosys BBSR…

My dad resigned the very next day, we did not know about it for almost a week. It was casual of him to spite his boss by taking leaves, so we were under the impression that he was going through yet another spell.

But when he did not go to office for 5 days in a row, my mother questioned him jokingly if he did remember that he does work, which my dad corrected to “I do remember that I did work”.

That was it; it triggered off a huge fight between my parents, my mom questioning the ethics behind the resignation and my dad justifying the same. He felt that he did not need to work anymore since his son now earned much more than him and sufficient enough to support himself and his parents. That cooled my mom down a bit, but I guess she was more concerned about him staying at home and bitching all day about his siblings that she actually wanted him to work.

My tickets were booked for Bhubaneshwar, and I was all set to start off working as a software engineer for which I would be groomed and trained in the Infosys campus in Orissa.

After meeting my family and friends, I was finally all packed up to be a software engineer.

I reached Bhubaneshwar a day in advance, and had to take my own accommodation, it was at this hotel that I met my colleagues and we became roommates soon after. The first person who I met and immediately bonded with was Ambuj… an engineer from IIT roorkee, he was the second person to check in along with Anuj Gupta, (they both were traveling from Delhi) Anuj was a little shy and took his time to break the conversation barrier… but Ambuj was forthright.

We exchanged information regarding qualifications and other related stuff.... and called it a day.

The next day we were all packed up to head to “Swosti Plaza” where we were put up for the next week by Infosys. We reached the Hotel and were spellbound by the hospitality rendered to us, never before were we treated like this… well many of us did go through the same experience.

Our offer letters from Infosys mentioned that we would be trained in BBSR(Acronym for Bhubaneswar) and the place of final posting would be intimated to us once we successfully complete the training, but the Induction meet held surprises, the HR informed us that there would be a frail chance of anyone relocation to different development centers as the development center here in BBSR was poised for a growth and they plan to absorb this batch here.

I could hear a few stifled sobs, but I was happy… this was the first opportunity I got to be away from home (read from my nosy relatives), handle my own finances and regularly send back Demand Drafts home. Life was taking a turn for me…

We spent most of the week authenticating our marksheets and hunting for a crib that would have a level of comfort as well as be reasonably light on our pockets. It was now that we met Gaurav, his dad had accompanied him to BBSR and was helping him look out for a crib, so we joined forces… the effort paid off after long weekend hunts and we finally had a place in Sailasree Vihar… a stones throw away from Infosys BBSR campus (well if u throw the stone real hard that is).

The rent was 3000 INR per month and the deposit was 3000 INR (we were 6 of us so that amounted to a pittance per head) , we got some furnitures, hired a cook and were all set to work with Infy from a bungalow bordering the Orissa forests.

Days passed quickly, and we were learning one software skill after another in this highly structured course, one thing that I really like about Infosys is the amount of Knowledge that it has and readily shares with its employees, Now that I read back, that probably is the only thing I admire about this company.

The end of the term saw me stand third in the class of 80 Mainframe Developers, and I was happy, to add to my happiness the HR decided to relocate us, as the new building that was being constructed to accommodate us was still underway and far from being completed, we were asked for our preference of location.

I chose Pune and was given the green signal to relocate; I caught the first available train to Mumbai.

My roommates Anuj, Avneesh and Gaurav (both of them) were not lucky enough for a relocation then… but they soon did relocate. Ambuj was satisfied to be sent to Bangalore campus.

Infosys Pune was much larger than BBSR, BBSR had just 3 buildings and could accommodate around 1500 resources, and Pune on the other hand had 14 buildings and could accommodate well over 8000 resources. I was happy to be in Pune as it meant that I could visit my parents every weekend.

That wraps up almost 4 months of BBSR.

CTRL+RIGHT ARROW

.............RESTING TODAY...........
.....WILL RESUME TOMORROW......

Chapter 22: Most Respected Individual…

My cousin brother was the first to get a job; my cousin sister and I were still stalking prospective ones. She had MBA campus placements to her aid, I was on my own.

I had taken up Cable internet while I was unemployed under the pretext of job hunting, but it was primarily used for downloading software and reverse engineering them. I did send in a few resumes to some companies and chatted with my friends, but the majority of bandwidth was spent in accessing MIRC chatbots and taking up reverse engineering lessons.

An Ad in the recruitment section of a leading newspaper indicated that Infosys was hiring, and I sent in my resume.

I got a call the very next day (it seems that they were desperate to recruit then too); the written test was scheduled in the following weekend in JJ school of Arts in Mumbai.

I downloaded a few sample test papers, breezed through Shakuntala Devi puzzles and brought my self up in terms with the mental level required for the test.

The test did not last half as long as the pre test form filling process, and for me it was all over in a matter of few hours. We were informed that the test results would be out in 3 weeks time and in case we did not get any responses, we could try again after another 9 months; the DDay fell incidentally on the last day of My current internet validity.

I was not that confident on bagging Infosys, I had done well on few questions and had goofed up on a few, but I was confident on the English test, I am passionate about the language and it never lets me down.

Days were spent sending more resumes to software companies, honing my RE skills, and playing SIMS.

On the penultimate day of my internet validity I casually checked my mail hoping for some letter from Infosys, at least a rejection letter, but I was let down yet once again… there was 5 more hours left on my internet package and I planned to utilize it the following day early morning (I used to get download speeds ranging upto 512KBPS in the wee hours of morning) to download and RE a fresh batch of software, I shut down my PC and went to sleep.

I woke up at 4:00 am, much to the dissatisfaction of my dad and started my download accelerator. After setting it to download a few desired softwares, I started my mail box to mail my friends that I would be no longer online from now ( My dad had somehow gotten the whiff that I was not using the Net as it was intended to be used and hence he cut down my Net allowance) and that was when I saw the mail from C&B@infosys.com (I was later informed that C&B stood for compensation and benefits) which was wrongly delivered to the junk mail folder.

The mail confirmed my selection into Infosys “The most respected Indian IT company” and the pay package that I started out with was 14700 INR/month. I woke my parents up and they were speechless, my required relocation to Bhubaneshwar to take up the job was partly the cause of it, but mostly because I had shown it once again that I had something in me.

I called up my sister (not my cousin) and let her in on the news at 5:30 am… got a string of abuses along with congratulations, but I was happy as she was the first person I wanted to share my happiness with.

My dad later called on his brother and broke the news, another series of Congratulations… I was later informed that my cousin sister also managed to get into TCS and she was to head for Trivandrum for her training. Her package was equally impressive, with an MBA degree it ought to be.

As for my cousin brother, he cleared the TCS aptitude and had an offer from them, but since he had signed a bond (so dumb was he that he had submitted his original marksheets to the company) for two years the company was not willing to let go of him. He had to pay around a Lakh INR plus the salary he had earned till date to term the bond null legally, which he did; he did not even fight for an experience letter after shelling out.

He joined TCS 4 months after I joined Infosys and my cousin sister joined TCS. We did meet sporadically, but we never spoke in this regard, I was the most respected sibling who did make it big.

Chapter 21: Trade Hound…

Around 2002 the job scenarios were not all that good, with the dotcom bubble bursting in late 2000 early 2001 software companies were unsure if they would have sufficient work to last the year and layoffs were an exercise conducted on a weekly basis. Many Indian companies that thrived for more than a year on the dotcom revolution shut shops and the number of unemployed Software engineers rose.

I had a degree in Instrumentation and the only knowledge that I had about software was limited to writing simple C-programs, a little bit of assembly, reverse engineering and working with multiple OS installations. Of the 4 traits mentioned above the last two were self learned when I was stuck at home doing nothing for about 6 months between graduation and getting a job. Since I had no desirable knowledge that the software companies looked out for, I never applied to one.

I got my first job as a sales cum installation engineer in a firm based out of Delhi that used to sell biomedical instruments, the salary was not all that rosy, I was being given 3480 INR per month and additional travel and stay expenses, and a commission of .5 percent on the deals that I close (now some may think that 0.5 % would be too low a percentage but the biomedical instruments don’t come cheap, in fact a gas chromatograph, my first assignment cost around half a crore). I never took the job, reason being my dad was against me having any relationship whatsoever with the capital and he was against me settling for a job that does not pay in 5 figures (to the left of the decimal).

I continued my job hunting in all of core instrumentation companies, faxing out resumes by the dozen, I did get a fair response but none fitting my dads bill.

You might feel why it was so difficult to get into an instrumentation company with such good grades? The problem was that most core engineering companies have a compensation strategy, what they do is recruit engineers from allied branches and train them in the core field and pay them less. An example: Say company A wants an instrumentation engineer, and the industry pay scale for an entry level instrumentation engineer is say 8000 INR/month, they go and hire a production engineer (who knows instrumentation but his degree doesn’t say so) train him in instrumentation processes and pay him around 4000 INR/month, so they get two for the price of one. Also to note is that these rules don’t apply if you have a strong letter of recommendation, where you end up getting the better of the industry average. These are some of the politics that companies follow and deny at the same time.

I was formally introduced to the idea of working with a software company by my friend Mohammed, (Patni) who had come down to my place to borrow the material for GATE preparation, he got into a conversation where he revealed his five figure salary to my dad, that was it, I was made to apply for 10 software companies during the week.

I started looking out for a software job in newspapers and was delighted to know that a company by the name Nucleus Software was conducting walkins in 3 batches at Andheri. So I gathered all my credentials and walked in. to my surprise there were thousands of software engineers who had come in for the same, the attention that the 2.5 inch by 2.5 inch ad had commanded could well highlight the height of unemployment that was prevalent then. The Nucsoft (as the company called itself), divided everyone into manageable batches and those who could not be accommodated were called in the coming weekend, and the others the weekend after the next.

Mine was scheduled for the same day. So I waited patiently to give the aptitude test, my test was to begin at 4:00 pm, I was busy checking out the girls who had come in for the test and it was then that my eyes fell on a Lone guy seated at the corner and revising his arse off. My Brother was here, it was war.

He was in a batch before mine, so when I entered the hall, he was leaving it. My brother had a degree in Electronics, but since he had always wished to get into computer science, he had done some certificate courses from NIIT and the likes, so his software knowledge was well beyond mine.

I cleared the aptitude test; as a matter of fact there were only two more from my batch who managed to clear the aptitude. The written test had five questions of which we were supposed to attempt any 3 with question number 1 being compulsory. The catch was Question 1 was purely UNIX about which I did not have a clue, I ended up attempting the 4 other questions (1 on algorithm, 1 flowchart and 2 c-program snippets). When the results were declared, no one had made it to the interview, but I was called in for a discussion, where I was made aware that my answers though impressive was not sufficient enough to get me the job as they were on the lookout for UNIX expertise, I was offered the next C-vacancy that opens up.

I was later informed that my cousin had got into nucleus software, with a pay package of 7500 INR/month and a 2 year bond. For once it seemed that he was winning again…

Chapter 20: Sibling/Family Update…

My dad used to look into accounts in the secretarial department of Morarjee mills, this was the job he was doing for the past 18 years, not that he loved the work or the salary attached to it, but because it gave him a sense of job security.

My dad did earn a meager 8000 INR when I was in the undecided stage mentioned in the last chapter, and the finances were real tight, with me becoming an engineer, unemployment did mean a lot of expense. Traveling for interviews, getting rejected, traveling again… had become a vicious circle that I tread day in and out. My parents did not complain once, they cut short on supplies and stretched themselves for me. Loving them is the least I could do in return then.

My cousin sister took up her MBA and was about to graduate around the same time, she had a boyfriend now (was a private affair...) and she went on to get married to him, we now share a good relationship.

My cousin brother too was looking out for a job; it was surprising to most of us in the family that he chose to opt out of studies, but I guess he could not take more from his dad about being beaten by a greenhorn brother in studies.

As for the luxuries that we had during our earlier days, my cousin sister was the one who was envied for she got almost whatever she wanted (including an inter caste husband) next was my cousin brother who was never denied anything of fancy that had an educational value, and the last was me who was handed down the non functional stuff (read: second hand and incase they could not be traded for a discount) from my cousins.

I was not always contended with what I used to get, but after embracing spiritualism, I began to see a little “Moh Maya” in all wordly things, but that did not deter me from indulging in a bit-o-fancy when it was affordable.

Shifting focus on my Dad, Morarjee mills was now a defunct unit, it still is. The employees were given VRS and as luck would have it my dad was not eligible for it, that sparked off the dissatisfaction towards the company, in the coming months, my dad plainly used to spite his boss by taking leaves as and when he felt so and screwing up things at work on the pretext that he did not understanding working on the PC.

His boss’s yelling fuelled the dissatisfaction higher.

Morarjee mills had a sister concern called Nicholas Piramal, primarily a piramal group of companies that deals with drugs. My dad was transferred there on his request, he was now contented with his work environment, but not for long. Nicholas Piramal went on an acquisition spree and acquired Roche, Boots and a hoard of other pharma companies as a result of which my dads work increased manifold. Now had my dad been formally introduced to drinking, he could have drowned a few pegs and continued with the work as if nothing was amiss, but he was a tea totaler , and there’s just so much pressure a cup of tea (or coffee) can relieve and this was much more than that.

Added to the fact that his salary had no relationship whatsoever with the amount of work meted out to him, with the dissatisfaction quotient riding an all time high, he opted to go back to Morarjee Mills and work with his old boss.

He had to retain his job, to feed his family viz: me and my mom, and being the only earning member at home, he was bending his back to fulfill his responsibilities.

Chapter 19: Post Grad Admission Woes…

It was during my graduation that I took my studies seriously, with the interest in girls taking a dip (after the evident breakup). I was frenzied with the idea of scaling great heights in engineering that I gave my GATE when I was in third year.

I was not primarily interested in getting my post graduation degree, but I wanted to have a rain check on my fundamentals and gave the exam to gauge the same.

When the GATE results were declared, I and my parents were huddled close to the computer refreshing the result screen… I for one was skeptical that I might not even get a score, but I was proven wrong. I scored 95.38 percentile in GATE 2002 (IN) which reset my priorities; I now wanted get myself a post graduation degree.

My first preference was to get a Masters in Bio Medical instrumentation (primary field of interest being MEMS and Neural networks) I was called in for a written test and an interview by IIT Mumbai. I cleared the written test, was the second in the class.

I was rejected in the interview, not because I was unable to answer the questions put forth, but because of the reason, that my final year project was purely software, and the folks at IIT had a preconceived notion that for any student to get into BioMedInst it was mandatory that the project taken up in the final year consist at least of some hard ware, which mine did not.

I felt it was unfair on their part that they did not give me a chance, now looking back I would have done the same thing had I been in their shoes, the reason is that my project was not a very complicated one, in fact it was a general algorithm that could be easily found on the appendices of most text books on DSP. The reason for me selecting such a project and my professors approving the same is that it gave me a lot of time for studies, the algorithms were fairly simple and most of the code could be reused.

IIT taken care of, my next target was IISc, I was called in for an interview at Bangalore, that I attended. I had 2 interviews lined up for me, one in DSP and one in biomedical Inst. I dreaded the former since I was not particularly fond of the subject, and it did not even matter to me when I failed miserably there. I cleared the Biomedical interview, and was full of hope that I would definitely get a seat, but destiny trimmed my hope and I was rejected yet once again. The reason given to me this time around was that IISc had no projects in Biomed for research, the only projects available with them were the ones from HAL, and it was something related to “Surface coating of windshields in combat aircrafts” that required a MSc Physics degree (that I did not have), what I was offered though was Lab Assistant ship that I blatantly refused.

I did not let go that easy when it came to my QA session, I grilled them over an hour on ethics and how it was incorrect on their part to invite some one who doesn’t fit the bill, And the answer that I received was “That how the organization functions”, I have never personally regretted not getting into IISc since then. I got up and walked out without wishing any of the “Big shots” present for the interview, went straight to the station and got my tickets confirmed in the next available train Home, for that’s where my heart really was.

Chapter 18: RGIT... Downside

I also had my first heartbreak when I was in the third year, my babe broke up with me, and it was painful. I did not disclose it to anyone, though I have a feeling that those close to me did feel that something was deeply amiss. I wrote a few poems to vent my feelings out, wrote mails to check if the relationship could be mended, and when all attempts were futile, accepted the reality of the situation and tried to move on. I could not however for a year and a half.

My grammy expired when I was giving my 4^th semester and my elder uncle when I was giving my 6^th. Those four years were the most turbulent for me as I went thru the highs and lows of happiness. My life was a boat and it was rocking.

Upside again… for me that is.

My cousin brother who was exceptionally well at studies did not manage too well in engineering, had a few failures and managed to clear the final year with a first class. No one in my family questions me about my studies.

When our final year results were declared, my dad was not in talking terms with my uncle C (my cousin brothers Dad) my uncle B acted as a channel through which messages could be passed to both the families. On knowing that I had a great result in engineering, my uncle C (read: a last desperate try) asked my Uncle B to find out what my actual percentage was (for he had discreetly hoped that his kid, my cousin might have scored better, he was to) he also went to the extent to inform my Uncle B to specifically ask me for my combined percentages in the 5^th, 6^th, 7^th and 8^th semesters (in my days, the final year class was given on the basis of combined percentages of the semesters mentioned above, because of which it was considered very difficult to score a first class in Mumbai University, but times have changed now). Below is an excerpt from the phone call that actually transpired between me and my uncle B.

The day after my results were declared : afternoon 3:00 pm: Bhandup

Me: Hello

Uncle B (UB): congratulations Anand, just got to know you cleared engineering from my sister.

Me: Thanks

UB: What percentage did u score.

Me: 72%

UB: (thinking that this is exceptionally high to be the combined percentage since my cousin had secured around 66%) I mean the combined percentage.

Me: That what I told you, my percentage in the last year is 78.

UB: Great, keep it up.

Me: Don’t worry I will, have a nice day.

I don’t know what happened after that, but from that day no one has ever compared my scores in public (which used to be their pastime earlier). I have actually become a demi-god and my uncle B has also changed his attitude towards his son’s studies, he now accepts the fact that if it’s your interest, you would do well, sadly... my Uncle C still sticks to his belief.

Chapter 17: RGIT.... Upside

It was supposed to be the second best college in Airoli (a small town in Navi Mumbai). My happiness was however short lived when I realized that there were only two colleges there.

So I began my professional education in this modest college that operated out of rented floors of a school, the college occupied the lower two floors and the school the top floor.

Apart from the infrastructure, there was nothing to complain of, the professors in my department (Instrumentation) were at least knowledgeable in their domain and in case they weren’t, they were at least courteous enough to look up the doubts and clarify them offline.

The four years that I spent here were the most memorable.

We were ragged the first day, were asked to clean the fans in most of the classrooms, do breast strokes lying on desks, propose girls, get beaten in return, and were also made to sell combs (that were collected from other seniors) in trains. Those of us who were lucky enuff got spared after a day of ragging, but the really unlucky ones, ended up writing assignments for seniors for a whole semester.

The first year started off with a low note, with most of us just getting introduced to professional subjects, ogling at girls had taken a back seat for now, reason being that there were not many girls to ogle at, just a few handfuls and they too had vested interests by seniors, so we spared them just to avoid getting beaten up.

My performance improved in the first semester, was spared of any “failures” but got a grace in Engineering Drawing, and it kept improving in the years ahead.

I finally started speaking to female colleagues in the second semester, it was in this semester that I realized the importance of having a sibling; I had a sister in college now. We still are the best of friends (me and my sister… not to be confused with my cousin referred to in the chapters earlier… my sister referenced here was more closer to me than my parents) and she still knows me much better than my parents.

Life is much better if you have a sibling with whom you can share the happiness and sorrows you meet as you walk the way… and to know the worth of a sister… you need to be deprived of one for a major portion of your life… in case of mine for about 18 years.

I also had a new crush while I was in the first year, and the crush was all the more obvious to my peers, but even then I was in love with my babe at Kelkar that I never let the relationship grow, we are good friends now.

I stood second in my college in the first year, came close to getting a medal for the same, but had to be satisfied with a certificate. I had tasted blood.

My winning streak continued in the second and third years, in which I stood first in my college (across departments) to the final year which was the most memorable pinnacle that I had ever reached in studies, my final year results secured me a third position in Mumbai University (Instrumentation department) and a First position in my college that I shared with a colleague of mine from telecommunications.

Chapter 16: Engineering Admission Woes…

The engineering admission was a real nightmare, as mentioned earlier that the MBBS admissions procedure was changed and now it would be purely based on the marks scored at the entrance tests, the people who had hoped to get into MBBS had second thoughts about their ambitions materializing. So they hogged up engineering seats to serve as a rebound in case they don’t make it into MBBS. Now this was plain unacceptable to many a engineering aspirants, since the closing percentages of most colleges went up by 10 % compared to previous years, which translated into the fact that amongst the students who were pitching in for a college of their choice, most would have to be satisfied with the next best one available.

The engineering admission process was centralized, which ensured that a student did not hog up seats at more than one college. The process was conducted at VJTI a supposedly premier (read old) engineering college in the suburbs of Wadala. The process was divided into rounds to facilitate proceedings. Every aspirant was required to list down 7 colleges of his choice in order of preference and submit the form which would be scanned and returned back, The first round would try to allot the student to the preferred college if vacancies persists, if not then its round 2.

My choices were just 3 colleges, Father Agnel Vashi, Bharati Vidyapeeth Belapur and Ramrao Adik Nerul , the branch of interest Instrumentation, and the type of seat “Free” (There are 2 types of seats in all engineering colleges under Mumbai University, the Free seat which used to cost around 4000 Rs. a year during my time and the paid seat that would set you back by a whopping 32000 Rs. a year, 32K was whopping then as it was one third of my dads annual take home). I was shown the boot in the first round.

My cousin brother, a D**k that he was, was very much inclined to pursue computer engineering from vivekanand college, and he also harbored the belief that getting into the college is all that mattered, as for the stream, changing it would be a breeze once you get to the second year. It was this belief that provoked him to put vivekanand in all of his seven choices, with all the seven different branches of engineering that it had to offer, Computer ranked first and electrical seventh. He got into vivekanand in the first round, got a free seat too, but electrical. He celebrated none the less.

I went to the second round hoping to get admitted to a good college and as per my preference criteria, the real time statistics were projected on a huge OHP screen, and the only college that met my criteria when I reached the payment counter was “Konkan Dyanpeeth CoE Karjat”. I took it without a second thought, a free seat was all that I wanted and I was not willing to let go the one I got.

My dad was furious when he came to know that I would be spending a major portion of my next four years commuting. He wished that I had opted for a Paid seat in a college that could at least be commuted without hassle. But I was happy, for I managed to get into engineering.

The centralized admissions were far from being over, VJTI announced a new round 5C where we could check if a better college was available as many colleges had revisions on its intake capacity. I rushed to VJTI. The OHP displays were refreshing with gusto as many students traded their seats for different, better colleges as per their perspectives. And when it was my turn the options that suited my tastes were:

1. Rajiv Gandhi Institute of Technology arnd 10 km from Thane and
2. Indira Gandhi College of engineering arnd 11 km from Thane.

I chose the closest one, Never was decision making more easier. My dad was relieved to know that my commute had shortened drastically and that his son would finally become an engineer some day. My mom had a different reason and the reason was my happiness.

I continued my job with Students academy till it was time to start on my engineering studies, and was bade a warm farewell by the proprietors.

As for the MBBS entrance exam, for which even I had applied for, never materialized that year due to poor planning and execution by the government officials, the Students did get admitted to MBBS based on their HSC scores (I never even came close, had an offer for dental, but I did not wish to have a hand to mouth existence, so rejected it), the second month saw vacant classrooms and a dip in income in most of the large colleges. There was an Eighth round announced by VJTI but I was too tired running around for admissions that I opted out.

As for my babe, she continued at Kelkar, for some reason she shifted her Major to Literature. And the last I heard from her, she was looking up Shakespeare’s Hamlet.

My engineering Years held a lot of surprises for me…

Chapter 15: Junior College (SY).

It was in this class that I met and fell in love with my first “Girl friend”, For some reason it felt right and after months of deliberate postponement, I finally managed to gather my guts and ask her out, Which she graciously accepted.

I was a happy teen.

Days went on… and as most of you would know, being in Love makes you forget all your troubles, and u perform well, that was my case when I was in 12^th. My parents or my relatives for that matter never got an air of what’s going on at college.

The relationship was disclosed to a few close knit friends who would help us call each other during weekends. If she wanted to call me she would ask “Rajesh” to dial the number who would pass on the receiver to her after I am on the line, alternatively “shruts” was my aide.

My cousin and me joined the same coaching classes by the name Alpha, in mulund, the reason for both of us joining the same was that the proprietor was a client of my uncle B and gave us a hefty discount on the course fee. (My uncle B was the most influential person when it came to my studies, as I really doubt I would have gotten this far had it not been for him, would be in all probability rolling Bidis had he not gotten me a seat at kelkars)

Rajesh was there too, so was shruts and my gal (would not mention her name, for we are no longer a couple, as for Rajesh and shruts, I would like to meet them and hence the mention) and we all breezed SYJC.

I used to sport a mustache until I cleared my engineering, I also used to wear numbered spectacles, the shape and power varying year after year, and in my 12^th standard I wore the classical Oval, to accentuate my Gandhian look and was immediately nicknamed Gandhi by one of our chemistry professors at Alpha.

Was made a scapegoat a million times, but I did not mind being one, for two specific reasons, it helped me in concentrate in my studies and it made people laugh. For some reason I think the professor too had a soft corner for me, never actually got to verify the same, but I am dead sure that he did.

I managed to pass the 12^th standard with 87 % aggregate, and my cousin did it with a lower aggregate but with a higher PCM score (97%) he scored perfect in 2 subjects for which he was showered with accolades by the classes, as for me I got an invite to the accolade program, clapped while my brother accepted his trophy and was contented with free food and drinks.

We had a gap of around 3 months between the time we gave our 12^th exams and the declaration of the results, during which I joined as an Office assistant at “Students academy” a coaching classed based out of Bhandup (this was my first paid job, true that I got the paychecks in the name of my dad, it was still something that I could do for my family plus it felt right) to keep myself occupied and earn along the while. My brother as I was made aware… prepared for his IIT entrance, gave it and flunked.

The admission processes for the technical studies (BE and MBBS) were revised and was supposed to include an All India entrance tests starting year 2002, so I was preparing for my Pre Medical entrance while attending to the daily work, at students academy.

My primary work at students academy was to open the classes at 7:00 am, allocate classrooms based on attendance, handle enquiries for admissions, guide prospective students and convert them, plan for examinations, co ordinate supervision, and correct answer papers. Shortly put, I was a dependable one man army that the proprietors at Students academy had, and they were happy with me, which clearly showed in the checks that were made out for me, I would always get 0.50 paise more than any invigilator that roughly translated to an excess of about 400 Rs every month in my pay check. My salary for the office assistant part was a cool 1700 Rs and my monthly take over inclusive of perks amounted to 2300 Rs. My parents were happy with the extra cash and I was occupied and had loose cash that I could spend on my babe.

My work would end at 2:00 pm, which got extended at the last month to 7:00 pm and I was paid an additional 500 as salary. So in the two months that I worked with students I earned a cool sum of 6500 Rs.

It was not the money that enticed me to take up the job, money was one of the reason, but the real reason was that I loved to teach and here I got an opportunity to explore the option, I was not allowed to teach students mainstream, that was the pros job, but what I got to do was to handle “Study Hours” which are generally late night or early morning open-to-all sessions where students can come to the classes and study in a disturbance free environment, and get their queries addressed to immediately. The challenge involved were, you need to be proficient in all the subjects across all standards. I faced it well, at least to my satisfaction.

One important lesson that I carried forward from my experience at students is to always get my doubts clarified.

In an informal session with the students, I casually asked them if they were not afraid to approach the teachers with their doubts (which I used to, I would rather clarify my doubts through a friend than a teacher) to which the reply that I got was “We pay a hefty amount for getting coached, so we better get the max out while we can”, that attitude of my students stuck with me when I entered engineering and not even a single professor was spared of my doubts (all valid ones and never to test the professors knowledge on the subject)

Chapter 14: Junior College (FY).

The results were not good, they were good by my standards, but they were not enough to get me into a decent college, that and the fact that I had filled in the form for Kelkar college supposedly the best around Mulund, strengthened my dads belief that 10^th was the standard where my studies would end. But thre were other plans for me as I would soon know.

For some unforeseen reasons, my Uncle B and uncle C had a fight, and Since my dad was already up on his terms with Uncle C, my uncle B joined hands with my dad (its because of such dealings that I get to see at home, that politics seems less interesting) , Now uncle B as we all know was an influential figure and when he was made aware of the fact that I wasn’t able to secure a seat in the only college that I had applied, called up his connections and my admission was done in the ministers Quota (pity seat) in a jiffy.

So I joined FYJC Science + French at Kelkar.

My destiny took a good turn from the day I kept my foot on Kelkar, as you might have realized I used to study in a school that catered to students living in and around Ghatkopar, and the shifting prompted me to take a seat in Kelkar that operated out of Mulund, so all of my vicious friend circle was broken and I was left with a clean slate to begin with. Now if I only had a chalk.

The first year was a drag, no good looking decent girls to ogle at, introduction to trigonometry, solid state geometry, integrals and derivatives. Did not understand what was being taught except for French and English.

The quality of professors that we met here were better than the ones at school, except for English, I am guessing he came in on a pity seat as me, he used to come to the class and make everyone who were naïve enough to attend his lecture, to read out never ending paragraphs from the assigned text books. I, for a change, had an impeccable 100% attendance in the FYJC (11^th standard), and also suffered the most at his hands. The results of which are well evident.

Here in Kelkar I made one good friend by the name “Rajesh”, he used to hail from a middle class family in Vikhroli and had the same financial condition as mine, so the natural order of selection chose him to be my guide.

While I was sitting my ass off thru all the lectures my cousin (who had managed to get into Somaia’s , a college of repute around Ghatkopar) was busy preparing for his IIT entrance. My parents were not even vaguely aware that getting into IIT required one to give an entrance exam, for them IIT was akin to any college offering a BE degree. No one was aware of the fact until my Uncle B asked me if I would also like to try for the same, an idea that I politely refused. Agreed that I was on a positive roll, but targeting IIT was a bit too much.

I passed my FYJC and moved on to SYJC or the crucial 12^th standard whose scores dictate if you are fit to be technically groomed.

My rechristening with an “I” instead of a “y” in my name actually set the vowel consonant vibration right in my name and I improved. My approach to studies were never the same again and I still, to this day believe in numerology… (but adding an extra K… I am plainly against).

Chapter 13: Board Exams.

I somehow managed to scrape through to the tenth standard, without repeating any year, for my international audiences (you would be surprised to know that I have quite a fan base J ) standard tenth is considered important in Indian education structure as the further streams are decided upon based on the marks scored in this exam.

Our syllabi had changed during the year and since this was the first board exams as per the new pattern, it was paper leak galore, with the media covering it on front page. The after effect of the same was that it was decided that everyone would reappear for the maths and science papers (which are the crucial ones that leaked thru)

Would be covering that later, for now I was appearing for my board exams and it was a very big deal for me, as a matter of fact it was a mammoth ordeal. With my sister already passed out with 80%+ marks and my brother appearing for the same with me, I was under a pressure which was more that what I could humanely sustain, so naturally I yielded to it.

All exams went thru without any major glitches, except for History, for which I wet my pants studying. But at the end of the day I was dry and the exams were over and it was grammy time till the results are declared.

It was around this time that we planned to shift to a larger home in Bhandup(w) ( a then industrial area where the residential flats were available for a fraction, with the prices of SMOG, asbestosis and fibrosis to pay), but we took it anyway, it was a newly constructed building with 1 bedroom, I hall and a kitchen. Best of it all, my grammy would be shifting on the top floor with us.

So we shifted, my grammy was still in sector V, due for shifting in a few months, so I spent my vacations there.

Time has an uncanny property that it flies when you enjoy it and lingers when you don’t, as for me I never realized how it buzzed through, and suddenly it was D-day.

I still remember the day vividly as if it happened yesterday, my parents had gone to my dads younger brothers house (Brother C), it was my paternal grandfather’s ceremony (shrath) and my dads IT-Commissioner brother (Brother B, also mentioned earlier) was also present at his house. Now Brother B had contacts using which he could get to know the SSC score of ours using our seat numbers, so my cousin was the first to face the blade. They rang his number in and he had secured 78%.

I guess they were happy with the result, for I recollect my Mom mentioning the conversation that she had with my Aunt C, Brother C’s Wife and my cousin brothers Mom, which was something like this.

--------------------------------------------

Aunt C: Let’s check Anand’s result.

Mom: Mmm… I don’t know his seat number. (Was probably scared that I might flunk)

Aunt C: That’s not a problem; we can call him and get it.

Mom: ok.

They called me

-----------Sub conversation-----------------

Uncle B: Anand What is your seat number?

Me: XXXXXXX, why?

Uncle B: We got Your cousins result, he has scored 78%, what’s your expectation?

Me: (a bout of shit-less-ness) around the same.

Uncle B: Have high hopes… don’t we ….ha ha…

Me: yes I guess.

________Sub Conversation ends--------------

Uncle B: anand feels that even he would be getting 78%

Uncle C, Aunt C, cousins (every one except my parents): guffaws

Aunt C to Mom: don’t lose heart, we could always get him into Diploma. He might lose a year, but can join engineering none the less.

Mom: stifling a cry, let’s see.

They rang in my number:

The verdict:

---------Sub Conversation begins-----------

Dad: Congratulations son, (could feel the happiness in his voice) you too have 78%

Mom: Congratulations and Thanks a lot son. (I came to know the reason for the thanks after they returned home)

Uncle B: Congratulations, so what college do you plan to go?

Me: Thanks not yet decided.

The others did not even bother to wish me, I gave a shit anyway.

---------- Sub Conversation ends------------

It so happened that the unexpected turn of events left the Uncle C family speechless with stupor.

My dad and Mom returned home, I collected my results and returned back, I for once was happy knowing that somehow I helped my parents get back at the taunt. Probably it was all the result of my moms prayers.

Uncle B called in to check and compare the marks that I scored with those of my cousin, and the reason for my score being at par with his immediately became evident, He had bettered me in every single subject (min 5 to max 10 marks difference), but English was my ground to rule I overshot his score by a whopping 35 marks and evened out his shit.

Later I knew that my Uncle B had passed on the information that his son suck in English to Uncle C, and my cousin got a thrashing, it didn’t feel bad, not even little, it was the least I could do for all that they have collectively done to me.

My name was incorrectly printed with an “i” in swamy instead of the original “y” thanks to FHS, and my grades improved moving ahead. I guess there are powers beyond our comprehension involved here. I still spell it with an “i”.

As for the re-exams, I had a severe bout of Jaundice 2 weeks before the re exams and my percentage dipped by 1 and that of my cousin remained intact, that got my uncle C speaking that I probably had got the papers and managed to score in the original exam, as for my parents and me, we neatly folded this shit of theirs in newspapers and sent it to them for dinner.

Then it was “COLD-WAR” between my dad and his brother for wrongful conviction. And I was never bothered again by them…EVER…at least for a loooooong time.

Chapter 12: Masti Ki Paatshaala...

I used to sport a mustache at school, was not a mustache per-se… but was the pre puberty facial outgrowth that I proudly used to sport. We (read me and my classmates) used to contend for the densest outgrowth ever.

In a lighter vein, I used to actually enjoy the influence I had on my friends, I used to make them laugh and reason out the fights and they used to laugh and be appreciative about it.

The school was also the place where I had the first infatuation, actually the first, second, third, fourth …. The list is too long. The girl whom I used to secretly admire was already hooked to a guy and it did hurt a little knowing the same, but I had my friends who were pre-pubescent adolescents who helped me come out of the depression by telling me how big a whore she was, not that I liked and entirely accepted the statement, but it did make me feel better and helped me move on to my next infatuation.

So after realizing that most of my school is filled with whores, I quit.

My best friends (yes there were many then) were from all divisions, (BTW I had forgotten to mention that I had bade good riddance to Marathi and had taken up French as my second language, Hindi was to stay, u can’t ask for too much luck. We were divided into divisions viz: Marathi, Sanskrit and French and as u might have guessed, I was in French) and most divisions were at war, reason to protect their females and to prevent breeding beyond the boundaries. Not that anyone actually did breed, but the animal instincts did kick in.

I was probably the only one apart from Rishiraj who was privileged to enter and leave whatever territories we pleased to, reason we shared good relations with Sudhir, the big shot from Marathi division who commanded them all.

A little update on the divisions as they existed in my time:

Marathi: Comprised of divisions A thru C (approx 55 students per division) all well built Maharashtrians who would kill if instructed or if they felt was morally right.

Sanskrit: One division D, 55 students in all who thought that brains were better than brawns (Wimps) and who would beat themselves if confronted by a person from the earlier divison who gives them an option to hit themselves hard or bear the brunt.

French: 2 divisions E and F (55 per division) Every single person with the highest ego, who thought that being in the company of either divisions mentioned above is a disgrace, that and learning French would automatically qualify them a free entry into Jacques Chirac’s concubine list. As for us (me, Harish, Vinay, and Rishiraj we were in for pure fun and also given the fact that French resembles English and would be taught from scratch)

Continuing, we were actually feared by our peers, that was fun for a while, we were also advised to sever all relationships whatsoever with the marathi guys to which we did not give a shit.

We also used to ogle at girls from every division, they knew our status, the M guys had the liberty to do so at will, we were the only F guys who could without getting beaten. So we had fun at the expense of others, but hey… I am not complaining, others were too busy studying the shit out and testing its consistency when it was time to enjoy their school life. I for one have no regrets what so ever, for I very well know that I did.

Communal Harmony:

I once got into a Tiff with Amjad (a good friend of mine) who in retaliation punched my bus, so forceful was the punch that the bus was dented and the paint scrapped off, the driver of the bus immediately took him to the principal and he sang.

I was asked to come down to the principals cabin, the then reigning principal was father Phillip ( a famous colorful personality, was also in the news recently) he asked me if I was the one who initiated the fight, I replied in the affirmative, he then asked if it would be reasonable to punish just Amjad, I said no, he was impressed by the way we stood for each other and pardoned us, we were happy, we left the room arm-over-shoulders, as for Amjad he ended up giving the driver the bird, for which he was punished :).

I love my school.

Chapter 11: Belt Lashing Goes On… and On and On…

My dad was not always unreasonable, but sometimes out of peer pressure (yes my dad suffered from it more than me) he yielded to the stress and found that belting was an alternate relieving mechanism that was fast and more effective. My mother was a mute spectator all this time, she used to come to my aid but I used to push her away, I love my mom more.

The problem did not have anything to do with my performance at school, as a matter of fact given the situation that my dad was the only child in his family, he would have happily pre approved all the remarks by signing in all the columns of the remarks page.

But he wasn’t alone, he had around a million brothers and an equal amount of sisters (guess my grandfather was grossly unemployed… anyway… the actual figures well stand over 20 in total), so there was a fair amount of favoritism shown towards some child by the late Krishnaswami Iyengar, and my dad seldom figured in the list, not even a guest appearance.

Now I know that, probably that was one of the reasons why he was so keen on naming me thus, there is some amount of symbolism involved, Langdon please help.

Continuing, He had siblings, and they had their children who were brought up with a focus on studies, the line that was commonly used in their household was “You belong to the Upper caste… you cannot survive without education… we get in only on merit blah blah and all such crap” which wasn’t how I was introduced to studies and I am thankful for the fact. So with the fears installed in their minds they used to study day in and day out… and get ranks that would be in single digit.

Even I would have managed to get ranks had I been punished that way, but I wasn’t, and when I did not manage to get ranks, I was formally reintroduced to the belt. (I now fear the cow… I fear its tail)

The second recorded belting was when I flunked Hindi, Ms. Salvi was our Hindi teacher that time, and it was the term exams that carried 100 marks (my target was 35.5… the passing marks) and when the papers were distributed I had scored 34.5, I was frantic, I knew that this spelled B-E-L-T in long run, so I immediately approached the desk and reasoned with her to recheck my paper and if possible grace me a mark, to which she agreed.

One point that I would like to put forth before continuing on the same is that I did not really write Hindi, I did not know how to then, not that I am profuse now, but I have a better stand. So I never really knew how to use the Matras (the ague and grave of the Hindi language) which are supposed to be inclined either forming a acute angle or an obtuse angle with the alphabet under question, so mine used to be written at right angles, and I used to harvest the marks awarded as the benefit of doubt was in my favor.

So now as Ms. Salvi was rechecking the paper, she came across a passage that was awarded 2 marks (out of 4) where she thought was a potential 1 mark, she then questioned me about the matras before awarding me the grace, and as my luck would have it I answered back the wrong one, to which she took away the 2 marks that was originally awarded and my score stood at 32.5, I pleaded with her to leave my marks unchanged at 34.5 but it all fell into deaf ears, she had a predetermined notion about us taking the subject way too liberally and I was under the axe for the second time.

This time I personally closed the window and approached my dad with the answer paper, he took one look at it and asked me to fetch the belt, that I did graciously, 3 whips was all I got this time. I had become accustomed to the ritual. He did not sign the paper though.

When the paper was returned to Ms. Salvi the next day, she remarked that it wasn’t signed. To which I replied that I got belted for it and she can confirm the facts at the next parent teachers meeting.

The Next Belt lashing ceremony was performed when Ms. Salvi called me a “Chhupa Rustam” at the parent teachers meeting, I don’t have a clue what that meant neither did my dad. As for Ms. Salvi, she was probably the reason why I have such a high tolerance limit to belting.

My dad was accompanied by his brother at the time this was said who explained the meaning to my dad, in-depth, also adding to the fact that his daughter would never manage to get such a remark at school and this was the worst possible remark that I could get. So thus conditioned, the belt came out of the pants, yet once more, to meet the leather cousin of his that was still alive (at my back).

Now looking back at those days and comparing my current position in society, I feel that I couldn’t have survived the ordeal better than I had imagined, I was molded well and if some one raises the question of my upbringing now, I am ready with a few questions for them to answer.

The last time that I was belted was when I flunked Mathematics, I was never good at studies, at least at school, but I still had some friends who would stand by me at all times, so I guess I was a good person and I can live with that. Studies as I see is secondary, be a human that’s priority.

So I failed Math’s in 8^th standard, got a miserable 11 out of 100, that really infuriated my dad as his elder brother used to head the mathematics department in Madurai Kamaraj University and he couldn’t approve of the fact that the math gene that has been running in his family for so long, suddenly turned recessive in my case. So I took the belt. The other outcome of this was I was sent to a tutor to help me in my math, and his verdict, I did not know the tables by heart. So under his coaching I learnt all the tricks of the trade and math’s has never been an area of concern for me, as a matter of fact had been the college topper in Mathematics in two semesters in my engineering.

The belting did last real long….ting tong…

Chapter 10: Belt Lashing Begins.

As mentioned in the earlier passage I always used to secure ranks, (read some rank… as long as the rank column was not blank and held a numeric value … it would do) till I reached the secondary or more commonly known as the 5^th standard.

My worst nightmares began when I could not understand a word written in Marathi or Hindi, agreed that I was born and brought up in Mumbai, but my vocabulary in Hindi was not the pure one that was supposedly taught at schools, and my Marathi vocabulary was limited to a few slang’s that would cause the person at the receiving end to commit suicide… provided he/she understood the meaning of the abuse in its completeness.

As for understanding what was being taught at those classes, I could put one and one together and make up my own understanding of the message that was more or less in parallel with the original conveyed. As rightly put by one Ms. Salvi, our (yes I had other south Indian devnagri challenged friends) Hindi was like “tera maa aaya, mera maa gaya” which was supposed to be funny to the rest of the class, but I still don’t get the underlying pun, but I laughed at it any way… laughing is good.

My belt lashing sessions were inaugurated by one Mr. Rodriguez, who used to teach us Marathi, he used to be a strict sir and most of my colleagues would be scared shitless in front of him, just a few of us viz: me, Harish and Rishiraj used to scare the begeezes out of him… He was of the belief that if you could teach obviously at the speed of light you can obviously cover more ground (he was in love with the word obviously… is it obvious, it would be correct to say that he was downright abusive with it). So most of the studious classmates of mine would some how over clock their processors and learn in his high speed sessions, as for me… I would sit and stare…

He used to give loads of home work to be done, which I would never be in a position to start, as I did not understand the questions in the first place, not that I did not try, I used to scan the entire test books comparing strings that resemble the question and copy 2 sentences above and two sentences below the location of the string (if found) and more often than not, it turned out to be correct answer, well that was one of my guarded secrets.

But I was not always lucky to locate all the questions and Rodriguez, considering my south Indian “marathi teriyadu” background used to graciously pardon me for a few questions undone, and I was happy to get away with caning.

As my luck would have it, once I was unable to locate even a single one of the question that he had assigned as homework (I realized later that I was looking at the wrong chapter) but that did it, I was profusely caned, and a remark written in my calendar (which is a small book that serves as a messenger to the parents about the homework given, and the remarks about the child, more often than not the remarks generally spell disaster, its not once that I have seen a professor give a good remark and asked to get the same signed by the parent) and was asked to get it duly signed by my dad. I did protest with loads of sorry, I wouldn’t repeat the same, with real tears but this person had the heart of stone… (This was what infuriated me and I lost all fears to this guy…)

Come evening 6:30, I am in shivers, my mom doesn’t have a clue why I am scared shitless, the door bell rings, enter (stage left) my dad. I wait for him to freshen up and have some snacks and then meekly go to him with the remark.

He asks me what is it for, and I tell him the reason, he get up, closes the window, takes out his belt and lashes me till I am half dead.

I don’t blame my dad, with his brothers always questioning my upbringing (which they feel wasn’t strict enough) in public; this was just his way of venting out his frustration. Had I been in his place, I would have also done the same thing, now it makes sense, but then it did not.

Not only was I lashed, the remark was left unsigned, I did not bother to ask him to sign it again… however at night I was running a temperature, his conscience hurt and he came and apologized to me, he also went to the extent to say that he would come down the next day to my school and screw my professor. That cheered me up a bit; my dad really did care about me, if only I could study a little.

The next day, I was prepared for my Marathi lecture, In enters Rodriguez, and starts checking our homework, I haven’t done mine, he then asks me to get my calendar, to which I comply, he looks at the remark page that is unsigned and takes me down to the principals office.

The principal then for the secondary section was Father Frances Gonzalez, a level headed person who listens to both side of the story before deciding the convict. But for some reason he was pissed of that day, he asked me if I had shown this to my dad, I said I did, he asked me to swear by god, I did, for some reason I did not appear truthful to him, he asked me for my dads telephone number, I gave it to him, he called him up… spoke with him… hung up… and asked me to show him my back, I did… I was excused from the room, Rodriguez how ever did stay behind… what transpired between them I really don’t know… but his teaching skills improved after the incident, and I did not receive any more remarks from him in my calendar. What I did get to know was my dads reply to the Father, the conversation went something like this:

Just the crucial part:

Father: I guess that your son hasn’t shown you the remark he had received.

Dad: he did show it to me.

Father: Oh so you forgot to sign it?

Dad: I did sign; didn’t he show you his back?

Dad: Father, at least the professors should be a little considerate, we hail from South India, I cannot speak Hindi properly, I survive through English, at least my son is making efforts, please try to appreciate it next time around, I would be belting my son for every remark that he carries home to deter him from getting more remarks, however you please ensure that I don’t belt my son for a reason that’s plain unreasonable. Thank you father, I really appreciate your calling, have a great day.

I love my dad.